False Alarm?

I've taken two pregnancy tests so far and they've both come out negative.  **yay**  But I'm still not surfing, as it were, the crimson tide...  (The picture to the left is particularly apt since I am in fact the size of an elephant.  Even a heard of elephants)

So I guess I have no choice but to play the waiting game.  The waiting game sucks.  I hate the waiting game.  But I have no choice.  Unless I want to spend ridiculous amounts of money on pregnancy tests until one thing or another changes.  But would you believe I felt the tiniest bit disappointed after the second test came out negative?  It would be awful timing and a really bad idea, I honestly have no way of justifying this, but nevertheless, disappointed I was.  Ahh, the insanity of women.  **sigh**

Oh No!! How could this happen??

Spare me a lecture on the biological processes that go on, I think I've at least got that covered...  But how does a supposedly responsible adult, with one child with a serious neurological disorder, the other who seems ok for now (hear that?  For now...  That means that you should at least wait to find out what the deal is with baby #2 before starting all over again!!), who is planning on emigrating early next year at the latest!!  Tell me, how does that person fall pregnant??  Accidentally?!?

Now before you start judging and tutting, that's not what's happening here....  At least not yet...  What's happening here is that I'm very late and totally freaking out.

I don't do well with pregnancies.  I get sick.  I vomit at least 10 times a day no problem.  With my last pregnancy I had to get hospitalized because of complications.  I get hugely, hugely fat.  And no, not "awww, you're just carrying a little extra baby weight" fat, I mean, a cupcake away from morbidly obese fat.  Hungry Mouth 2 has only just turned 9 months!!  NINE FREAKING MONTHS and I'm still as fat as when I left the hospital with her.  Which will also mean she'll be 18 months when the new baby is born..  (Impressed by my mad math skillz??  I know I am!)  All this when our plan was only to start trying for a baby once the youngest had celebrated their 2nd birthday!  Hungry Mouth 2 was born exactly 9 months after Hungry Mouth 1's 2nd birthday...

18 months. is. not. enough. time!!  Both my children are still in diapers and I have not slept through the night since early summer 2010 when I got hospitalized and spent the rest of my pregnancy in severe pain.  It's not just about Hungry Mouth 2 though, I also would have wanted Hungry Mouth 1 to be a little older before adding more kids into the mix.  We've just started getting good therapies for Hungry Mouth 1, we're just starting to implement a new plan of action, I don't want anything to interrupt or interfere with that.

So how's The Mister handling all of this, you might ask??  Apparently not very well.  As soon as I nonchalantly asked him to pick up a pregnancy test for me on the way home I could literally hear his eyes narrow on the other end of the phone.  There was a lot of spluttering and half finished sentences ended with "Oh, I'm going to be so angry at you if you are".  Okay, Mr Jack-Holio, blame it on ME.  Cause it's only my fault, I caused this all on my very own.

I felt the below video probably says it best:

"Even though the blame's on you, I'll take that blame from you"