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Wednesday 16 March 2011

Motherhood **runs away screaming**

Things I hate about being a mother in no particular order:

*Actually fighting someone for the pleasure of wiping the crap off their ass.

*Getting peed, puked or pooed on.

*Getting no sleep cause apparently Hungry Mouth 2 has developed a "keeping eyes closed" allergy.

*Getting no peace during the day because said child could only manage two 15 minute naps!

*Cooking over and over again, only to have child the food is meant for (Hungry Mouth 1) refuse it all and ask for cereal/bread with jam/ice cream/chocolate.  This happens every meal people!

I mean seriously, why even bother?  Why don't I just make croutons out of jam toasties, dump them in some cereal along with some chocolate buttons and whack a scoop of ice cream on the top?  It would make my afternoons/nights much easier and if he gets too hyper, couldn't I just throw him in the neighbour's yard for a few weeks days hours?

Tuesday 15 March 2011

My Dirty Mistress...

That's right.  This blog is meant to be like my dirty mistress.  I have my real blog over on <inaudible>, but I realized that since it's your average, run of the mill mommy blog, I wouldn't be able to really let my hair down, talk about any and everything that comes to mind.  I have to keep some semblance of respectability and responsibility.  **Chokes back laughter**

I can't very well talk about raising a special needs child one day and then blog about getting tanked with a couple of porn stars and a few ounces of rock the next.  Wait, hold up...  Sorry, that was Charlie Sheen.  But still, you know what I mean.

So anyhow, I started this blog a couple days ago and celebrated.  Finally.  I have somewhere to spill my guts: a dark, damp, beer stained, urine smelling corner of the internet to call my very own.  As luck would have it though, it seems all my naughty thoughts took a swan dive right out the window and took any creativity I might have had with them.  Writer's block, naughty amnesia, stage fright of the inappropriate.  With the possible exception of my recent Eminem dream, I got nothing. Nada. Zilch. べつに。

*****

N.B.  Although you may see me write in Japanese throughout this blog, I myself am not Japanese.  I just love everything about the country and the language and am trying (though failing miserably) to show off what little I learned back when I actually had a life and was able to pursue my very own interests.

N.B to the N.B.  All the news coming out of Japan is really heart wrenching.  I can't imagine what they're going through yet they manage to navigate the worst humanitarian disaster we've seen for some time with such dignity and grace.  I only hope they stay strong and manage to move forward despite the devastation.  My heart bleeds for them and all they've lost.

Sunday 13 March 2011

Willkommen, bienvenidos, bienvenue, wilkom, ようこそ

Welcome to my insanely happy neck of the woods.

The cartoons on the top of the page are a true likeness of my gorgeous and loving family.  I'm the big, green, Jabba-the-Hut looking type with drool hanging out my mouth.  Hungry Mouth 1 is a toddler, he's the one on the right, you know, with his mouth wide open, constantly shouting and marveling at nature's wonder.  Hungry Mouth 2 is the baby of the family.  She's the one in the red, wishing she could put that sweet little birdie with all it's chirping splendour in her mouth.  You can't really see The Mister cause he's smushed under one of my hoofs, quietly crying for help.

So that's us...  I hope you enjoy hanging and getting to know the chaos that is our family.
 
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